When I saw this set, I thought I'd never see anything better. And then I saw this set. Wow. Just wow.

I'm not sure who to attribute this to, as I've seen it all over the internet. Enjoy!

Doggy Dictionary

LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL: A liquid which, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to give you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and get the drool on the human.

SNIFF: A social custom used to greet other dogs, similar to the human exchange of business cards.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents throughout the house before your person comes home.

BATH : If you find something especially good to roll in, humans get jealous, and they use this degrading form of torture to get even. Be sure to shake only when next to a person or a piece of furniture.

LEAN: Every good dog's response to the command "sit!," especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the regular bump doesn't get the attention you require ... especially effective when combined with the sniff. See above.

CHILDREN: Short humans of optimal petting height. Standing close to one assures some good petting. When running, they are good to chase. If they fall down, they are comfortable to sit on.

LOVE: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.

We've had thunderstorm activity almost every day for about a week now, and the dogs have had enough of it! They've both developed severe phobias and are following us around everywhere...

I do some volunteering at youth technology camps through IBM, and my favorite activity is "How to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich". The purpose is to introduce kids to the level of detail needed to write computer programs. The last several times I've done the exercise, including today, I've been lucky enough to be the "robot" tasked with executing instructions from the kids. It's always fun to see their reactions when their "perfectly clear" instructions get misinterpreted by that wacky robot! I had a few fun misunderstandings today:

• "Open the bread bag" - I ignored the twist tie and ripped open the bag.
• "Twist the jelly jar counterclockwise until it opens" - I turned that jar several times without effect. Maybe if they had said to twist the lid...
• "Spread the jelly on the bread" - They never said to use the knife, so I rolled the jelly jar on the bread instead!

It's the kind of volunteer experience that's as much fun for me as the kids!

He's a Hank-er-doodle-dandy, born on the fourth of July! That's our story and we're sticking to it. Happy Birthday Hank!

Ah, it's great to have your Internet access restored, after some dope cut the wire!

I went with the Cycling Spoken Here beginner's group last night for a 20-25 mile ride. Good to be back on the bike! Not too much knee agitation either, which was a definite plus.

If only they could talk! Earl Pomerantz constructs this hilarious interview with a giraffe on his personal blog.

There I was, working hard installing some liner in the flower beds. Then I heard the unpleasant sound of a shovel hitting something it wasn't supposed to hit. Indeed, the cable wire was cut. Funny how there's suddenly nothing to do when your TV and Internet is out! The repairman is due on Tuesday, so our "plight" will be short-lived.

Last year's defending champs showed us why they were the champs! A 15-run loss where again we did approximately nothing right. The Grandpas are coming back down to Earth after a blistering 6-1 start of the season, now we are 6-3. Last night's line: 0-2.