This article from Slate praises the economic goodwill of Ebenezer Scrooge.

Try out The Dialectizer!

(stolen from a mass email)

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there...

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Poodle: "I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry."

The Cat's Answer: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?

BONUS OPINIONS

Hank: ... are you going to feed me? ... are you going to feed me now? ... can you get that stupid labrador off of my ears?

Scout: Dopey-do! Can I bite Hank's ears again?

"Giant Gambian pouched rats of Mozambique, Tuesday Morning Quarterback salutes you!" -Gregg Easterbrook, as nominated by Justin Merritt of Northfield, Minn.

"Some people are like Slinkies.....not really good for anything, but you still can`t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs." -source unknown

Our new dogs are so much fun! Check out Hank and Scout!

You think you have a hard time working Microsoft Word? Maybe you can relate to this guy.

All you need to know about guys. Particularly truthful: "If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle." and "If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one."

"Naturally, the common people don't want war, but after all, it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a facist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country." ~Herman Goering speaking at the Nuremberg trails after WWII

Three clever envelopes to get you out of trouble.